Hair rituals

From Simon Cowell's hair ritual to Aaryn Belfer's tale of combing her daughter's hair, to Photographer Brenna K. Murphy's attempt to evoke her mother's memory by playing with her own hair, one thing becomes clear: hair is more than a means of keeping our heads warm.

We gather in the name of hair as an excuse for social interaction. We commit to certain regimens to give ourselves a sense of order and even control. And as far back as Samson, we have equated our hair or some aspect of it (length, color, curl, shine) to some quality about ourselves (strength, confidence, fashion sense, desirability) that we either want to minimize or highlight.

Obviously, a single blog post could never address this topic adequately, but I was recently struck by how incredibly willing, even eager, so many of us are to adopt a very defined procedure for doing our hair. Take a look at any of the descriptions provided by the women I featured in the Cold-Weather Hair Care series, and you'll see what I mean.

We love our hair. And even when we hate it, it's only because we want to love it but can't find a way. The ritual, we often think, is the way.

All hail the ritual!

On one of the curly discussion forums, I once saw a post about how one curly swore that if she scrunched product into her hair with no less (and no more) than eight pulses per section, she got better curls. She could have said five and she could have said 103 -- people would still have jumped on the advice and immediately tried it the next time they washed their hair. (And yes, I did try it. I never said I was immune to the lure of the ritual. Eight did not prove to be a magic number.)

More recently, a long thread at naturallycurly.com informed all interested parties that by bending forward to apply and rinse product, better curls and clumps were formed. The thread became a fascinating glimpse into the quest for exactly the right procedure to achieve the often-elusive goal of clumping. Women were willing to get water up their noses and endure back pain if it meant their hair would look great. Questions about precisely how much conditioner and what brand came up often. Experiments were launched and results reported. More questions ensued until finally everybody in search of a ritual had tested this one. Some adopted it, others undoubtedly moved on to find a more successful one. (I tried this one, too. And you know what? It worked quite well! And so far, I've managed to avoid swallowing any water.)

The most common hair ritual, though, is the deep treatment. Some of the homemade potions are a real testament to the desire to make this experience special. Coconut milk and Lustrasilk, egg and honey and mayonnaise, cassia and yogurt -- you name it, and somebody has thought to combine it for a unique concoction all their own. Women set aside time for this act and often combine it with a relaxing bath or a manicure or maybe a great movie. The deep treatment for hair is part of a woman's "me" time, it seems. Even aside from the fact that they have to wear something profoundly silly on their heads to undergo the treatment, they prefer to be alone while the beautification happens. One can only assume, then, that the soul as well as the hair is getting the attention it needs.

I started to think about my own hair rituals and realized I have several. (I know you're stunned.) The scrunching technique is one but here are some others:

- Every morning while I wait for my hair to dry, I wear my robe belted and off the shoulders. This does nothing to keep me warm (and believe me, my house is cold) but it keeps my curls away from the microfiber collar of my robe. My boyfriend thinks it's sexy but to me, it's what must be done in order not to disturb my curl formation. I do this regardless of how cold I am.

- Every four weeks, I go to the salon to get my hair colored. I don't like the smell of hair color and I don't like shelling out money to keep my gray out of sight. But I think I do like sitting in the salon, drinking tea, and reading trashy magazines that I never in a million years would otherwise read. And I like catching up with my stylist, who I sincerely enjoy.

- I diffuse my hair holding the dryer in the same eight locations on my head. I never deviate from this. I must think it works.

What are your rituals and why do you think you observe them?

Cold weather hair care, day five

It's time to feature a wavy in this series. I immediately thought of DEL2C at naturallycurly.com. Yes, she is a self-confessed product junkie, but she's also got sizzling hot hair. (And it turns out she has a very talented four-year-old, as well. That's who takes many of the photos of her hair. Not this one, though.)

DEL2C lives in the northern part of the northeast, so things get pretty cold in her neck of the woods. She has tried several coping strategies, but this is the one she's using lately.

"This winter has been a big challenge for me. I've been trying to find the balance with giving my hair adequate moisture. DevaCurl OneCondition has been fantastic! I wasn't getting the best results, but then I read on the threads about that "seaweed" feel we should get in the shower and that prompted me to be more generous with my conditioner. I use a good palm full whereas before I would use about a quarter size. Also adding a LI has helped tremendously. Lustrasilk Mango Shea or Lustrasilk Olive Oil as a leave-in has been great no matter what combination of products I choose. I use it as a leave-in and I've used it mixed with curl cream as well and have been getting fantastic results. It has just the right amount of moisture for my hair and doesn't weigh me down, I LOVE Lustrasilk. It's made all the difference for me this winter."

Cold weather hair care, day four

Xcptnl (sound it out phonetically and you get "exceptional", which is what her hair is, if you ask me) is not only known at NaturallyCurly.com for her pretty hair but for her relentless experimentation with products. (Msgiblet and Xcptnl tie for honors in this regard.) I've always felt that Xcptnl may not realize just how wonderful her hair is, so because I am queen of this here blog, I am using this cyber-pulpit to show her off to the world!

Here is the story of how she gets these beautiful curls in horrifyingly low dew points.

"I feel like a celebrity!! How exciting to be part of Jillipoo’s blog!

"This winter was the first winter I had noticed issues of flyaways/frizzies -- whatever you want to call them. And it’s no wonder -- I don't think our dew points have been above 20 for weeks! For example, today the dew point is 2!

"I started paying attention to other curlies on Naturallycurly.com and their discussions of glycerin/honey (humectants) and their effects on hair in low dew points. To maintain some of my curls and get rid of those flyaways, I started avoiding or reducing glycerin and other humectants in products such as stylers and leave-ins that stay in my hair.

"Lately I have been using MOP C Curl Enhancing Shampoo* every two or three days. When I do not shampoo, I use Devacurl One Condition as a co-wash (or I just water-wash) and follow it with Giovanni 50/50 conditioner (glycerin is low on the list of ingredients), Avalon Organics Olive & Grape Seed conditioner, or Lustrasilk Shea Butter. I use Lustrasilk Shea Butter as a leave-in. This is put on VERY wet hair while I'm still in the shower and upside-down, after I have rinsed out my rinse-out conditioner upside down. I only use about a nickel-sized blob. My best stylers in these low dew points have been Kinky Curly Curling Custard or Boots Pink Curl Cream. When I use the Curling Custard, I mix it with Biosilk Rock Hard Gelee for good hold while my hair dries. When I use the Boots Pink Curl Cream, I emulsify it in my hand and scrunch into my ends. Both are added to very wet hair while I'm upside-down. When I use the Boots, I mix Biosilk Rock Hard Gelee with any other medium-hold gel that is glycerin-free. In these photos, I mixed it with Pantene Curl Defining Scrunching gel. As any reader of Naturallycurly.com knows, I am a certified product junkie so I am trying to use up these tubes of gel that are everywhere in my house!

I then flip right side up, get my part organized, and then scrunch out the water with my Curlease towel. I do this upside down first and then upright. Then I move on to diffusing with a deeper bowl attachment. I do this upside-down for about five minutes to get the products to set then I go upright. I spend some time on the ends with the deeper bowl attachment and then I move on to the diffuser that came with my blowdryer -- it's shallow and I can use it to get at the top of my head and the roots. I place it midway on my head and then move it up to get some volume at the roots, turn it on, and hold it there for a minute or so. I do this all around my head. I only dry my hair 50% dry with the hairdryer and then I let it air-dry the rest of the way. Once it's dry, I decrunchify with my Curlease towel. I have found by using the towel, my fingers, rings, and whatever do not get caught in my hair and create frizz. TA DA! Curls.

I cannot wait until the dew points go above 30 and I can start using all the products I bought containing glycerin, honey, and other humectants in them. It's very hard for me to ignore all those pretty bottles, tubes, and tubs but soon they will get their day in the rotation!

*This is sulfate-free, folks!

Cold weather hair care, day three

What's cooler than a smart, sassy redhead? A curly, smart, sassy redhead! RedCelticCurls, whose blog Pittsburgh Curly offers up an assortment of curl-related observations, primarily of the scientific/geeky/insightful variety, has been inquiring and experimenting with her hair for years -- and it's paid off. She understands what ingredients work for her thick, coarse locks and stays away from the ones that have proven to disappoint her.

It's hard to argue with a mane this riveting, no? Here's what RedCelticCurls has to say about her cold-weather hair care.

"Last winter, my hair had few problems. It wasn't a very cold winter, and low dew points did not come into play that often. This winter is different. It's actually cold, and dew points have averaged from the teens to negative single digits. My curls had turned to waves. While that wasn't a bad look, I did want to find something that gave me my 'oomph' back.

"After some reading around, I decided to try the Lustrasilk Shea Butter Cholesterol Plus. It doesn't have anything that my finicky hair objects to, and for $2.49 for a 20 oz. tub, I couldn't complain about the price. Little did I know then that not every Sally's carried this product, and some were even obstinate about ordering it. I got lucky.

"I started out using this as a leave-in then reapplied as a curl cream. I have since tweaked it to using Curl Junkie Curl Rehab Curl Moisturizing Deep Treatment as leave-in followed by the Lustrasilk as a curl cream. I have been getting outstanding curl enhancement with this combo. If I use the Lustrasilk alone, I also get a big boost in volume. It's nice to have winter options now. I can forgo the Lustrasilk if I want waves (something I can't get in the summer) and hit the Lustrasilk if I want curls."

Nice to find effective options that don't cost a fortune! Lustrasilk seems to have worked for lots of people (unfortunately, I don't think the weather was cold enough here for Lustrasilk to have been much help to me). Although it's available at some Sally Beauty Supply stores, I recommend you buy it at Amazon to keep frustration to a minimum. (Also, get only the Shea Butter or Olive Oil versions if you are avoiding silicones.)

Sally Beauty Supply, you suck

The buzz on the forums at NaturallyCurly.com is lately around Lustrasilk. It's cheap and it seems to be really working well for people. So, I thought I'd give it a shot.

Three Walgreen's later, I figured I'd just bite the bullet and visit Sally Beauty Supply, whose website indicates they have it. (I refuse to give Sally a link.) I was on the road for my job yesterday and so had the opportunity to visit two cities (both of which had Sallys) to assist in my quest.

Called the one in Concord, where a young and mildly disinterested person told me they carried Lustrasilk but not the olive oil version. I then called the other one and they didn't even answer their phone. As far as I know, yesterday was not a beauty holiday.

So, when I got home, I had time to check out the Sally's here in San Francisco. I phoned. Much to my horror, I got the same Russian-as-a-first-language sales associate I got when I phoned Sally's last year to inquire about Biotera. The conversation inevitably goes like this:

"Hi, do you carry [fill in the blank]?"

"What?"

"[product name]. Do you sell it, please?"

"[repeats product name in a barely recognizable way]. I don't know. I'll check."

Sixty seconds later she returns to the phone. "No, we don't have it."

Now, yes, I could have driven over there to confirm (especially since months after the idiot told me they didn't have Biotera, I saw it in their store), but I am disgusted with Sally Beauty Supply and so despite the shipping costs, I went home and ordered it on Amazon.

(Also about a year ago, I wanted to buy something else there. The website said the store was open until 7:00 so I went directly there after work. When I arrived at 6:40, I was greeted by a locked door and a sign that said their hours were 10:00 to 6:00. I honestly believe this store exists to annoy as many people as possible. I don't think that's good for beauty.)

I'll keep you posted on the Lusatrasilk results. Meanwhile, I spit on you, Sally Beauty Supply!